Addressing Dressing

August is here, and for many of us that means one thing: back to
school shopping! All around town, families are hitting the mall,
searching for that perfect look (namely, something stylish that
pleases both parent and child).

Addressing dressing can be particularly tough for Moms and
adolescent daughters. What your teen wants (and will tell you
everyone is wearing) may not be what you know is appropriate, or
even up to school dress code. So, how do you avoid the great
clothing wars?

Here are some quick tips for helping your daughter look and be
her best:

  • First and foremost, stress that you want her to be able to
    express herself without losing her sense of dignity.

  • Check over your school dress code carefully, and review it
    with your daughter before you shop. Point out that school is
    her “job” for now, and she needs to dress to facilitate
    learning, not distract from it.

  • Talk with her about family clothing rules. Be specific about
    what’s okay and what’s not (for example, no underwear
    showing, spaghetti straps, bare midriffs, short skirts, belly
    button rings or pajamas worn to school).

  • Encourage her to choose fabrics and colors but don’t
    compromise your rules.

  • Set a budget and stick to it – the marketers are out in force at
    this time of year, and it’s a great opportunity to help teens
    learn about responsible spending.

Remember, clothing is an important part of a child’s identity. Teen
girls both want and need to discover who they are. Remind your
daughter that modesty is never out of style for women with
confidence and self-respect. To quote Wendy Shalit, author of A
Return to Modesty, “Modesty is usually a reflection of self-worth, of
having such a high opinion of yourself that you don’t need to boast
or put your body on display for all to see…"